Bullying and Your Teen: How to Recognize When They're Hurting or Hurting Others

As parents, we all hope our teens would tell us if something was wrong. But the truth? Most teenagers who experience or participate in bullying never speak up.

Whether your child is being bullied or doing the bullying, the signs aren’t always obvious but they are there if you know what to look for.

When Your Teen Is Being Bullied

Bullying today goes far beyond the schoolyard. Modern bullying happens in person, online, and across social media often 24/7.

For many teens, the constant pressure can lead to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal. Yet, these struggles are often hidden behind closed doors.

You might notice subtle changes. A once-outgoing teen now prefers to stay home on weekends. They avoid certain classes or make excuses to miss school. You might see them glued to their phone one minute and in tears the next.

Physical symptoms are common too: headaches, stomachaches, and fatigue that seem to peak on Sunday nights before school.

Warning signs your teen might be experiencing bullying:

• Sudden changes in mood, withdrawal, or irritability

• Frequent complaints of stomachaches, headaches, or fatigue

• Avoiding school or activities they once enjoyed

• Unexplained damage to belongings or “lost” personal items

• Increased time on devices followed by visible distress

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Declining grades or concentration

• Unexplained bruises or injuries

• Reluctance to talk about their day or social life

  
  

If your teen insists they’re “fine,” trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

Teen therapy offers a safe and confidential space for your child to open up, process their emotions, and build resilience with the support of a trained mental health professional.

When Your Teen Is the Bully

This can be the hardest part for any parent to face, but good kids can engage in bullying behavior. It doesn’t mean they’re “bad.” It means something deeper may be happening.

Teens who bully often struggle with insecurity, trauma, peer pressure, or problems at home. Sometimes, bullying is a way to feel in control when other parts of life feel uncertain.

Red flags your teen might be bullying others:

• Becoming increasingly aggressive or mean-spirited

• Showing little empathy or guilt when others are hurt

• Hanging out with peers who exclude or intimidate others

• Being overly focused on popularity or social status

• Getting angry or defensive when questioned about behavior

• Having unexplained money or new belongings

• Refusing to take responsibility for their actions

Addressing these behaviors early can prevent long-term emotional and relational harm both for your teen and their peers.

How Parents Can Help Right Now

1. Open the door to honest conversation. Create a safe environment where your teen can talk without fear of punishment or shame. Try gentle openers like: “I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately. Want to talk about it?” “I’m here whenever you’re ready to share what’s going on.”

   
   

2. If communication feels tense, family therapy can help create space for understanding, accountability, and healing.

   
   

3. Seek professional support. Whether your teen is being bullied or bullying others, therapy for teens can help identify root causes and build healthier coping strategies. Ignoring the issue won’t make it go away but addressing it can transform the way your family navigates conflict and emotional growth.

   
   

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Bullying, in any form, can leave lasting emotional scars. Left unaddressed, it can affect a teen’s mental health, self-esteem, and future relationships.

But there is hope. With the right support, teens can heal, rebuild confidence, and learn empathy and resilience that will serve them for life.

If you’re worried about your teen, don’t wait. 👉 Book a free 15-minute consultation with one of our compassionate therapists who specialize in adolescent issues.

We offer flexible scheduling, including after-school and virtual sessions, so your teen can get the help they need when they need it.

Your child’s well-being can’t wait. 

Let’s take the first step together.